I Was Really Wired Last Night!

I snore. I've been told that on occasion by people I have shared rooms with (my kids, colleagues on business trips), and more importantly, by Alison. So now I have an important reason to do something about it. I talked to my doctor, who said that she would refer me to a specialist to consider what we might do about it (she even mentioned a minor surgical procedure as a possibility). The next thing I know, I have a phone call from a sleep clinic telling me I have an appointment to spend the night with them to monitor my sleep. So last night I spent the night at a sleep clinic.

I arrived around 9pm with my favourite pillow, and my book and a magazine to read. They hooked me up to a box of electronics the size of a brick, with 17 wires connected. There were contacts on my head, face (including one on my chin to detect grinding/clenching of my teeth), neck and legs, straps around my chest and abdomen, and two sensors stuck up my nostrils to measure my breathing. It was not a pretty sight:

Once I was all wired up, and lying in bed, they had me do several actions to calibrate the sensors and make sure they were all working:

• close my eyes for 30 seconds
• open my eyes for 30 seconds
• look left and right without moving my head
• look up and down without moving my head
• hold my breath for 10 seconds
• take 3 deep breaths
• push my stomach in and out
• cough (I did not have to turn my head!)
• flex each foot up and down

When I was ready to go to sleep, they came to turn the light off for me (I was tethered to the bed and couldn't get up without help!). I asked for ear plugs because I could hear someone in the next room snoring (imagine that), and they were prepared for that.

I actually slept fairly well, apart from waking up 10-12 times because of all the weird shit attached to me. They woke me at 6am, stripped off all the wires, and sent me home. I have a follow-up appointment with one of their doctors in a few weeks, at which I expect to be told "Gee, you really snore!".

So I can check that experience off my list now.